Intro and Contents
If you're thinking of popping the question, you've come to the right place! This full guide gives you five straightforward steps to asking your partner to marry you.
Table of Contents
Will you marry me?
For most people getting married, this is one of the most beautiful and emotional questions in their lives. Do you want to learn more about different ways to propose? Or are you looking for some practical suggestions?
In this guide, we'll cover everything from picking out the engagement ring to planning and executing your wedding proposal, organized in 5 steps:
- Choose an engagement ring (or not)
- How and where to propose
- Write your wedding proposal
- Plan your proposal day
- Do not forget to...
Whether you're already prepared and ready to propose or just getting started, read on for tips and advice from the pros.
Step 1 - Choose an engagement ring (or not)
There are different opinions on whether or not you need an engagement ring, but ultimately it's up to you. Some people believe that an engagement ring is a must-have for a proposal. On the other hand, others do not feel the need to purchase one.
If you're on the fence about whether or not to buy an engagement ring, here are a few things to consider:
- Is your partner expecting a ring?
- How important is the tradition of an engagement ring to you?
- Do you want to spend money on an engagement ring or spend this money in another way?
- If you decide that an engagement ring isn't necessary, you can always propose without one. There are many different ways to pop the question, and not having a ring doesn't have to take away from the moment.
Engagement rings are more common in the United States than in Europe, where engagement rings are less prevalent these days. If you're proposing to someone in the United States, it's generally assumed that you'll buy an engagement ring.
1 - Choosing the right wedding ring
When it comes time to pick out an engagement ring, there are a few things you need to take into account: style, budget, and size.
2 - Will your partner like your engagement ring?
When shopping for an engagement ring, you'll want to find a style that your partner will love. If you're unsure what your partner will like, ask a close friend to help you figure this out. Be sure that you can trust this friend to keep your secret.
The traditional engagement ring has a diamond, but many other kinds of gemstones can also be used. However, times are changing, and diamonds are no longer a requirement as they used to be.
If you're concerned about whether your partner will like your ring, don't be. When it comes to the actual proposal, your partner will see the ring as a sign of your love, and you will be all that matters at that moment.
3 - The budget for the engagement ring
You'll also want to pick a ring that fits your budget. Engagement rings in the US can cost anything from a few hundred dollars to several thousand.
The price of an engagement ring is determined by the design, type of metal, size of the ring, and particularly the number and quality of diamonds or gemstones. On average, in 2022, Americans are expected to spend between $3,000 and $5,000 on an engagement ring.
If you want to save money on the ring, you can always look for a vintage ring. You can also try to negotiate with the jeweler on the ring's price. You'll have a stronger case if you propose to also buy the wedding rings there.
Whatever you do, make sure that the ring you choose is something that you're financially comfortable with.
4 The size of the engagement ring
Traditionally, the engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. This is also known as the ring finger.
You'll need to consider the ring size. This can be tricky since you don't want it to be too big or small. If your partner already wears a particular ring on the ring finger frequently, you may "borrow" it and have its size assessed.
However, don't worry if the ring doesn't fit perfectly. Most jewelry stores will aid you in resizing the ring for a perfect fit after you have purchased it and completed your proposal.
Tip: before buying a ring, inquire about the possibility of having it resized later for free. They will almost always agree if they want to sell you the ring. Make sure you have this agreement in writing.
5 - How to propose without an engagement ring?
It may be the case you don't want to purchase an engagement ring or that your partner does not want one or can't wear one. In that case, you may also bring a personal gift to cherish when proposing, such as a poem, a love vow, or artwork.
If you and your partner share a passion for tattoos, getting an engagement tattoo together is another way to demonstrate how committed you are. The tattoo can be a ring on a finger, or it may also be your initials with the day you proposed to one. Another possibility is some shared artwork representing your bond.
Step 2: How and where to propose?
There are so many different methods to propose. Here are some common approaches to consider.
1 - A classic romantic dinner proposal
A romantic dinner is an excellent option if you want to propose more traditionally.
Choose a great romantic restaurant.
It would be wonderful if the restaurant had a special significance for both of you. For example, your first date with one another occurred at this location. It could be helpful if you know someone who works there and can assist you with your big surprise.
Decide in advance when it will be the best moment for you to ask your partner to marry you.
There are numerous opportunities to ask for your partner's hand throughout the dinner. It can be from as soon as the meal starts to just before dessert. If you want to propose traditionally, lead in with a personalized message, get down on one knee, and ask the big question while presenting the ring.
Plan what you want to say beforehand
Proposing can be a daunting task, but it will be much easier if you plan your lines. You'll want to make sure that your proposal is personal and unique to your relationship. To learn more about how to write a fantastic proposal, keep reading. You will find some great pointers further down the page.
What to do after the proposal and the dinner?
After successfully proposing, it's not unusual to prolong the celebration with drinks in a bar, go out and party, or stay the night at a beautiful hotel. Keep this question in mind and plan for it when preparing your proposal.
2 - An intimate proposal at home
If you choose to propose at home, there are a few things you'll want to keep in mind:
Consider the best moment to propose.
When proposing at home, you may want to consider your partner's favorite activity at home. If you have a favorite meal that your partner loves, prepare or order it and use this moment to propose. If your partner loves getting massages, propose while giving them a massage. Make your decision on what would best suit you both.
Do you want the setting to be intimate and unique?
If this is important for your partner or you, create a beautiful and romantic atmosphere for your proposal. Dim the lights, light some candles, put on some slow music - whatever it takes to set the mood.
Even if you choose to propose at home, it is a good idea to prepare ahead of time what you will say and do after the proposal.
3 - A proposal with friends and family present
If you want to involve your friends and family in the proposal, there are many ways. This could be at your home, a restaurant, or any other location.
Here are some examples.
- Plan a party and propose during the party.
- Have your friends or family hide at your home and then come out after you propose.
- During a family gathering or dinner
Just make sure you know your spouse answers YES to your proposal.
4 - Propose while on vacation
Some people propose on vacation since it may provide an excellent chance to ask your partner to marry you. When people are away from their work or home, they generally have a good mood and enjoy being together. You might wish to take benefit of this positive vibe.
5 - Plan a getaway, especially to propose
The best way to ensure that your proposal is memorable and perfect is to choose an unforgettable getaway. For example, a few of the most iconic places to propose are the Eiffel Tower in Paris or a gorgeous beach in the Caribbean.
Schedule a getaway with your partner
You can choose between an actual getaway with your partner or plan a "fake" gateway and surprise them with the real getaway. You'll need to schedule the dates ahead of time in both situations since they should work in both your calendars.
Once you have chosen your destination, you'll need to make all the necessary arrangements for the trip. This includes booking a hotel, restaurant reservations, and activities if desired. You'll also want to make sure that you have an engagement ring.
When and how to surprise your partner
You should have everything arranged and keep the ring hidden until just before the getaway. Double-check all details beforehand if you're taking your partner on a "pretend" trip.
The wedding proposal is generally performed on the first day of the getaway, allowing you to enjoy and commemorate the occasion during the rest of your stay. You may ask your partner to marry you at a romantic dinner, on a beautiful beach, or at a unique location, site, or landmark.
6 - Propose at a unique public location
Some examples of popular public locations in the United States to propose to include the top of the Empire State Building in New York City, the observation deck of the Willis Tower in Chicago, and the Hollywood Sign in Los Angeles.
However, finding a unique location in your city is likely easier to organize and better affordable. This could be a lovely park or a spot with special meaning for you and your spouse. It's conceivable that you and your spouse visited this location on your first date, or it might be a museum or zoo that both of you enjoy.
If you and your partner are both outdoorsy persons, proposing outdoors might be the best way to go. There are many amazing outdoor locations, including mountains, deserts, forests, and beaches.
When you propose at a public location, there are some things you'll need to take into account:
- In the case of an outdoor location, consider the weather. Hope for the best but also prepare for the worst.
- There may be certain restrictions and rules in your favorite public area. It's best to check this before you go do your thing. On the other hand, a police jail may be a rather unique setting to commemorate your proposal and tell this tale afterward.
7 - Surprise with a proposal, but don't do it in person
The most well-known example is a "will you marry me?" message on a giant billboard. Another example is a plane flying overhead with a massive banner that reads the big question. Perhaps you'll take your partner on a boat trip where your friends, standing on a bridge, hold up the big question.
You're free to be as inventive as you like. How about writing the proposal on paper and putting it in a bottle. You can then take your partner on a beach walk and have them find the bottle.
Step 3 - Write your wedding proposal
The most straightforward wedding proposal is just getting on one knee and presenting the engagement ring, along with a question such as "will you marry me?"
Don't want to go with the bare minimum? Write a genuine wedding proposal instead. When composing a wedding proposal, it's critical to make it unique and personal. This means taking the time to think about your relationship and how you arrived at this point.
For example, first, go back to when you met each other. Next, say to your partner how that changed your life. Explain why you want to spend the rest of your life with them in your words. Ending your proposal, of course, on your knee with the actual question while presenting the ring.
Another example is writing an impressive list of all the reasons you want to marry your partner. And if you're going to add some humor and feel confident, add reasons why you are such an excellent choice for your partner to be married to.
Should you practice your wedding proposal?
This is a frequently asked question with various opinions. The main advantages of practicing on the forehand are:
- You will be more confident when proposing
- You will be able to deliver the proposal in a clear and articulate way
- You can make sure that you don't forget any critical details
On the other hand, some people feel that practicing takes away from the sincerity and spontaneity of the moment. Other people worry that their partner might find a written proposal in advance on their computer or phone or spot them practicing, and this could ruin the surprise.
If you decide to practice, do it in front of a close and trusted friend or family member who can give you honest feedback. It is also a good idea to practice once or twice in a location similar to the actual one. This will help you get into the right mindset and also help you better remember what and how to do when the big day arrives.
Step 4: Plan your proposal day
It's usually a good idea to prepare ahead of time for your proposal. This is especially true if you need to make reservations and/or bookings. But even if you don't need to do this, it can be helpful to have an idea of how the day will play out. This will help to ensure that everything goes smoothly.
Making a global timetable ahead of time is generally a good idea. As a result, you'll have a clear plan for how the big day or evening should unfold. You need to ensure that your timetable gives enough time for travel and leaves room for unforeseen delays.
You can include contingencies in your plan for circumstances that may change. Suppose that you have planned an outdoor proposal. If the weather turns out to be terrible, what will you do?
Beware not to over plan. It's essential to leave room for spontaneity and things to happen organically. Overplanning might take the excitement and joy out of the day and make it feel like more of a burden.
Step 5 - Do not forget to...
You should keep in mind a few things when planning to propose a wedding. Here is a list of 8 essential tips.
- Don't forget the ring! This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's all too easy to become caught up in the moment and overlook something as crucial as bringing alone the engagement ring.
- Consider whether you want your partner's parents' blessing. This is not essential for everyone, but it can be a nice touch. It shows that you respect your partner's family and are willing to take things to the next level with their permission.
- Choose the right time to propose. You want to make sure that the timing is appropriate for you and your partner. It should be a happy and carefree time without any significant stressors.
- Try to make sure you know what your partner's answer will be before you pop the question. This might seem like a daunting task, but it will save you a lot of embarrassment and heartache in the long run.
- If you are not quite sure, consider informally asking your partner how they (in general) feel about being married. This is a meaningful conversation to have and will help avoid any awkwardness or misunderstandings later on.
- Consider whether you'd want to have pictures or a video of your proposal moment. If so, ensure to find a photographer or videographer you trust ahead of time. You might need to conceal this individual before the big event and ensure that capturing the photographs and/or videos does not interfere with your big moment. Smartphones are an excellent tool for capturing the moment discreetly.
- Keep the proposal a secret! The element of surprise is key to making sure your partner is caught off guard in the best way possible. You can't leave any visible traces in your planners or emails if your partner can also read them. Only tell your plans to people who need to know, for example, because you need their help.
- Most importantly, enjoy the moment! It should be a life-altering occasion, so enjoy every minute of it. Attempt to absorb everything and enjoy the moment for what it's worth.
What is next?
You did it! Your partner said YES. So now you are engaged! It is time to start planning your wedding. But where do you even begin? Don't worry. We have got you covered. Here are some more complete guides for:
20 FAQ about the wedding proposal
1 - How do I know it is the right time to propose?
The most important thing is to feel confident that it is the right moment for you and your partner. It might be helpful to consider some factors, such as whether:
- You have been together for a long time and are ready to take things to the next level.
- Your current financial situation.
- Whether any significant milestones are coming up in your relationship soon.
2 - How can I make sure my proposal is romantic?
One of the best ways to ensure that your proposal is romantic is by putting thought into the planning and execution process. This might involve doing something special or unique that reflects your partner's personality or interests. Considering factors like location and timing to create an overall atmosphere of romance. You can also plan a surprise proposal that will take them off-guard in the best possible way.
Additionally, you may want to ask for help from friends, family members, or trusted professionals (such as a proposal planner). They can advise making the whole experience extra special for your partner. Ultimately, the most important thing is to be genuine in your efforts and convey your love and commitment through the details of your proposal.
3 - What should I do if my partner says "no" when I propose?
This can be a difficult situation but try not to panic. Take some time and space for yourself to process everything. You may want to seek advice from friends or a counselor about how best to move forward with this response from your partner. Ultimately, the two of you will need to discuss why your partner said "no". Try to find out if there is anything that can be done to change their mind.
4 - Do I need an engagement ring?
This is a personal decision. Some couples feel that an engagement ring is an important symbol of their commitment. In contrast, others do not think it is necessary. There is no right or wrong answer, so you should do what feels right for you and your relationship.
5. Where should I go to purchase an engagement ring?
There are many different options for purchasing an engagement ring, including traditional jewelry stores, online vendors, and pawn shops. Ultimately the choice is up to you, but you may want to consider price, quality, and availability when making a decision. Do your research ahead of time to feel confident in your choice.
6 - How much should I spend on an engagement ring?
Again, this is a personal decision. You should spend what you are comfortable with and what you feel makes sense for your relationship. It is sometimes recommended that you spend two months' salary on an engagement ring. Still, ultimately the decision is up to you.
7 - Should I propose in private or in public?
This is also a personal decision. Some couples feel that a private proposal is more intimate and unique. In contrast, others prefer the excitement of a public proposal. Consider what would make your partner feel most loved and appreciated, and go from there.
8 - How do I keep the proposal a secret?
This can be tricky, but it is vital to keep the element of surprise in mind. Only tell people who need to know about your plans, such as those you may need help from. Avoid leaving any clues that your partner may find, such as planners or emails.
9 - What should I do on the day of the proposal?
Plan ahead and make sure everything is ready to go before the big day. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare, so you're not feeling rushed. Try to relax and focus on enjoying the moment on the day of. Your partner is sure to appreciate your thoughtfulness and effort no matter what!
10 - What should I wear on the day of the proposal?
There is no specific dress code for a wedding proposal, but you may want to dress up a bit to make the occasion feel more special. If you are proposing outdoors, it is a good idea to wear clothes that will be comfortable and weather-appropriate.
You should also consider your partner's preferences when choosing what to wear.
If you are planning a fancy dinner to propose, you may want to go with a more classic look such as a suit or dress.
In some cases, it is essential to consider the location of your proposal and whether there will be any restrictions on what you can wear. For example, if you are proposing at a religious site, it may be necessary to dress more conservatively.
Ultimately, however, the most important thing is to choose something that makes you feel confident and excited about the big moment!
11. Should I take pictures or video of the proposal for later?
Proposing to your partner is a special moment. Many couples choose to capture the proposal on camera for posterity.
You can either ask a friend or family member to capture the moment or hire a professional. It is usually not wise to take the photos yourself as you'll need to focus on your main task.
If you genuinely care about beautiful shots, plan ahead of time by picking a scenic location that provides a lovely backdrop for photos or video. Additionally, consider timing your proposal at a time when the light is best.
12 - How can I make sure my proposal goes smoothly?
Although there is no guarantee that everything will go exactly as planned, you can do a few things to help increase the chances of a smooth and successful proposal. First, it is crucial to be prepared and have a backup plan for any potential problems, such as bad weather or lost jewelry.
Additionally, try to relax and stay calm on the day of. This will help ensure that you can think clearly and take any necessary actions if something goes wrong. Finally, remember to be flexible and go with the flow. Even if things don't turn out exactly as you envisioned, the most important thing is that your partner said yes in the end!
13 - If something goes wrong on the day of the proposal, what can I do?
Suppose something goes, such as a surprise visitor or a sudden rainstorm. In that case, it is essential to stay calm and take stock of the situation. You may need to improvise and develop a new plan on the spot, but try not to let any setbacks ruin your big moment. Remember that even if things don't go exactly as planned, your partner will likely be just as excited about your proposal regardless.
14. How do I know if my partner is ready to marry me?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the readiness of each individual varies. However, there are a few things you can look for to help you decide if your partner is ready to take the next step.
Have a discussion with your partner about marriage and their thoughts on the topic. This can give you a good indication of their level of readiness and whether they are taking the issue seriously.
Additionally, pay attention to your partner's actions - Are they committing themselves fully to your relationship? Are they meeting your needs both emotionally and physically? If the answer is yes, then chances are they are ready to get married.
15. What's the best way to propose if my partner is hesitant about marriage?
If your partner is hesitant about marriage, the best way to propose is by taking things slow. Talk to them about your concerns and why you want to get married. Try to listen to their concerns as well and be understanding.
If they are still unsure, take a step back and take things one step at a time and wait until they are ready to get married. Marriage is a huge commitment, so both partners must be on the same page before popping the question.
16 - How can I make sure my partner's parents approve of the proposal?
Suppose you would like your partner's parents' approval for the proposal. In that case, you may want to consider asking them for their blessing before popping the question. This gesture shows that you respect their opinion and are serious about taking things to the next level with their child.
You can also try communicating with them about your plans and getting to know them as you move forward with the proposal process.
17. What if my partner's parents don't approve of the proposal?
Suppose your partner's parents do not seem to be on board with your proposal. In that case, it is essential to try to understand their perspective and be respectful of their wishes. Perhaps you could try communicating more openly with them or explaining why you feel now is the right time for a commitment.
If that doesn't work, talk to your partner about it. In the end, it is your life together, and so you should make the final decisions as a couple.
18. What if my own parents don't approve of the proposal?
If your own parents disapprove of the proposal, it is essential to remain respectful and understanding. You may want to consider talking to them about why they have concerns and try to find resolutions.
If your parents remain unwilling or unable to support you, talk with your partner about it. It is ultimately your life as a couple that you should make the final decisions together.
19 - What are some common mistakes people make when proposing?
Some common mistakes people make when proposing are not considering their partner's preferences, being unprepared, and becoming stressed or overwhelmed on the day of the proposal.
Not taking into account your partner's preferences is a huge mistake because it takes away from the romance and thoughtfulness of the moment. It's essential to make sure your proposal is personal and tailored to what they want, whether that means proposing in a private setting or with a grand gesture.
Being unprepared is another mistake people often make when proposing. This can manifest in several ways, such as forgetting essential details like the ring or not having a backup plan for potential problems.
Finally, it's important to avoid becoming too stressed or overwhelmed on the day of the proposal. This can cause mistakes or, even worse, ruin the whole moment for your partner. Try to relax and take deep breaths in the hours leading up to the proposal to stay calm and focused when the time comes.
20 - Finally, what are some tips for a successful proposal?
There are a few key things to keep in mind for a successful proposal. First, make sure you are absolutely certain that your partner is ready and willing to get married before you pop the question.
Second, put some thought into timing and location. You want it to be unique and memorable, so choose a site that is significant to your relationship or has personal meaning.
Third, have a clear idea of what you will say before you get down on one knee. It can also be helpful to rehearse your proposal ahead of time, even if it is just in your head, so that you know what to expect.
Lastly, don't forget the basics! Make sure you have a ring, flowers, and maybe even champagne on hand to set the mood. And don't forget to enjoy the moment and savor all the happy feelings you both will experience!